From Darkness To Light
by Nora-HBS-Girl
Summary: Shaun is there for Nora when her marriage to Bo falls apart again. Can he help heal the scars that still torture her? Alternate Universe. (SHORE)
1. A-Abyss

**This story is dedicated to my friend Daphne, who requested some Shore . Please don't shoot me for breaking up Bo/Nora again. It was what fit with this story. Believe me, it was painful to write. LOL. **

**It is based on this prompt "****_She wanted something else, something different, something more. Passion and romance perhaps, or maybe quiet conversations in candlelit rooms, or perhaps something as simple as not being second."_**

**A-Abyss**

She stood out in the rain as she looked out into the night. She wondered if this was how it was supposed to feel...the moment when you realize that you don't have the marriage you thought you did. She wiped her red and swollen eyes with her fingers as she watched him gather his things and get into his truck. She had sent him away...told him she couldn't be his wife anymore...and she hadn't cried when she made the decision...except now she was feeling the weight of her broken heart.

It wasn't something as concrete as an affair...or something as simple as not loving him anymore...she did love him and he hadn't cheated on her. In some ways she really wished he had. It would be much easier to say goodbye to your soul mate if he had betrayed you...much easier then living with the ghost of his greatest shortcoming. The truth was that she was tired of being a visitor in her own marriage...tired of watching him be absent days at a time because some damsel in distress needed his 'personal' touch...she loved her husband madly but he had never been able to truly put her first...and she had simply stopped accepting it.

When she felt a hand on her shoulder, she shivered. She was almost afraid he was here again...begging her for just one more chance...a chance she was too worn out to give.

"What are you doing here all alone in the cold...where's Bo?"

_She wasn't surprised...wasn't surprised at all that the world just expected them to last...they should have lasted. If only...if only he had loved her as much as she loved him. _

"He's...not coming back. My marriage is over Shaun," she cried.

She would only cry in the darkness of the night and Shaun realized that was why she was here. If she stood out in the rain then nobody would know she was crying. It was as if she was putting on a front...because she was expected to be the strong person she always was...even when her heart was breaking.

"What happened," he asked her? "Can't you two find a way to work it out? I know how much you love him."

"I can't be a ghost in his life Shaun. I wanted him to be able to put me first...when he could never do it, I just...I quit. It hurts too much to be with him when I feel so alone."

"It's never easy loving someone who makes you feel that way...I just always thought you and Bo were the real deal..."

"We could have been...and you know, I thought we had a chance...for so long, I did...but my husband has this crazy need to be everyone's hero...he couldn't give that up Shaun...and in the end he wasn't there when I needed him. I can't keep doing this...making excuses for him...loving him more then he loves me...If I'm going to be alone, I'd rather actually be alone..."

"You want some company? I hear if you can make it through the first twenty four hours then you'll be okay. I know it will probably take longer for you but..."

"No you're right...the first twenty four hours are the worst...I just...sometimes I wish we had never gotten back together...I told him that I'd never survive losing him again and I meant that...I'm sinking Shaun...I stood here and watched him leave and I wanted to keep falling...fall until the pain stopped and I didn't have to face the fact that my husband wasn't the man I thought he was."

"You love him Nora...Its okay to hurt...and I think he does love you...you shouldn't doubt that..."

"Whatever he feels, it wasn't enough...and I'm the one left out in the cold...just like the last time."

He offered her his shoulder and she fell into his warm embrace...letting her tears come freely as he tried to make her feel a little less alone. He had been where she was...and he wouldn't wish this pain on anyone. The only thought that penetrated his brain as he held her close was that her husband was a fool...anyone who had a chance with a woman like Nora should be moving mountains for her...not making her cry.


	2. B-Bath

**B-Bath**

She stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom as she looked at the face staring back at her. It felt sort of like déjà vu...only then it had almost been easier...the pain had seemed justified...now it just seemed like an open wound that refused to heal. She blinked back the tears as she thought of her failed marriage...another failure to add to her long list of shortcomings. Why did everything seem so hard now? Why couldn't she just accept the fact that he would rather play hero then be her husband?

_Because she still loved him...she probably always would...and it hurt...it hurt to know that she would never come first. _

She could hear the soft knocking on the door as she ran her hands under the hot water. She couldn't explain her need to just scrub away the pain. As if she could somehow forget all those years of love by washing her hands...she was almost numb to the pain...she was still scrubbing with a desperate urgency when Shaun kicked down the door and pulled her hands away from the scalding water.

"Nora...Nora for heavens sake...what are you doing...what are you trying to do to yourself?"

She had tears in her eyes when she turned to look at him. "I thought it would be easier if I just...I wish someone would just shoot me Shaun...it would hurt less...anything would be better then this...this pain...I want it to end...I just want to stop loving him...can you do that for me...can you reach into my heart and pull him out of it...cause I don't want this...I don't want the bottomless pit of agony."

"I wish I could do that for you Nora...I wish I could. I can't make you stop loving him. "

"Then what am I supposed to do...how am I supposed to get through the next twenty four hours...let alone a lifetime...I can't even manage to get undressed so I can take a bath."

"Is that what will make you feel better? Do you want to take a bath?"

"I don't know what I want Shaun...I don't...All I ever wanted was Bo..."

"I know baby...I know...and It's okay...It's going to be okay," he said, as he pulled her into a warm embrace. "Let's get you that bath. Don't think about the whole picture...think about the next few minutes...can you do that...can you take things a minute at a time?"

"I guess," she whispered, as Shaun turned on the water. Her eyes were red and puffy as she stared off into space. He wanted to give her husband a piece of his mind for breaking her heart this completely...except he wouldn't...he wouldn't because right now Nora needed his strength...he couldn't fix her broken heart but he could help her.

She stood at the foot of the bath sobbing...sobbing so bad she was trembling...Shaun helped her out of her clothes and into the warm bubbles. He didn't look at her...he couldn't look at her or he would feel things he had no business feeling...how could he not be attracted to her when she was standing before him without any clothes? He was a man after all. And she was beautiful...beyond beautiful really. She was also suffering...suffering so bad that all she could do was sink into the bubbles and try not to think.

Shaun poured the shampoo into his palm and began to massage it into her scalp as he washed her hair...she seemed to relax just a little as he did this. There seemed to be a symbolic meaning behind the bath...as if washing her hair meant she was washing her husband away...though she knew that was impossible. She was crying again and he ran a brush through her hair...promising her he would take care of her tonight...and he meant that...he would help her through these first lonely hours when she cried out for her husband.

He lifted her out of the tub and dried her with the towel...she barely flinched. She pointed to the dresser when he carried her to the bed and he pulled out one of her nightgowns...leave it to Nora to only own sexy ones. After helping her into her gown, he pulled down the sheets and helped her under the covers. "You're not going to leave are you," she asked him?

"I'll stay as long as you need me to," he said.

"Please...please don't hate me for asking this but...but do you think you could just hold me until I fall asleep...please...I feel like such a baby for asking this but...but I don't want to be alone tonight."

"You don't have to Nora...and you shouldn't feel bad about asking for help...just because you need a friend tonight doesn't mean you're a baby...You've got a friend in me...always."

"Thank you," she cried, as he climbed onto the bed and wrapped his arms around her. This was going to be a very long night...but sometimes friendship meant you were there for that person even when it was starting to feel like you should head for the hills...Maybe that was why he stayed there with her all night as she slept...holding her against his chest as he breathed her in...he had the opportunity to leave her alone when she drifted off but he didn't...As her friend he was worried about her... he wanted to be there if she woke up from the nightmares...the nightmares that would surely come from missing someone so much that you physically ached for them...which Nora was no doubt doing.

_If a friend was what she needed then he could be that...nobody deserved to go through this kind of pain alone. Nobody. _


	3. C-Crack

**C-Crack**

If it had just been the pieces of her heart that had cracked... then maybe she could believe that someday she would be alright...but it was the cracks in her soul that kept her awake at night...that turned her heart into a bitter disillusionment that only made her cry harder. She wanted to be the strong, indestructible person that the world saw...and she had put up that front almost a day later...going to work...trying to live the day to day existence she used to live effortlessly... but her facade had faltered when her efforts to avoid her soon to be ex husband had failed...Shaun found her that night sitting in her dark office, staring into oblivion.

"Remind me again why I'm doing this," she cried? "Remind me why it's better to hurt now then later?"

"You saw him...you saw Bo."

She was grateful that he had seen the truth and she didn't have to try and explain it. "Why does it still hurt so bad Shaun...why does seeing him have to bring up so many mixed emotions? I want to be over this...I'm not sure I'll ever be over him."

"I don't think you will...I wish I could tell you otherwise but I'd be lying...you don't ever truly forget the love of your life...but trust me Nora...you will move on...someday you'll wake up and you'll realize that the pain isn't that crushing, debilitating boulder it used to be...You'll find that pang every now and then but it won't be so intense."

"How do you know?"

"Because it happened to me once...the day your daughter chose my brother."

tears spilled from her eyes as she turned to look at him...she placed her hands on his face and sighed. "How do you not hate me Shaun? Hate this family. You had your heart broken by my daughter...your sister had her heart broken by my son..."

"You love your children Nora but you aren't them...and I don't hold any resentment towards either of them. You really can't control what your heart wants."

"I wish you could...in this moment, I wish you could. I don't regret loving Bo...I don't...if I had the chance, I'd still choose him..."

"But?"

"But I wish there was a cure for the unspeakable pain I feel right now...I wish there was some way for me to make it through a day without breaking down...a way for me to sleep at night without seeing his face in my dreams...and they're not bad dreams...it's just that when I wake up, I feel more alone then ever because he's gone...and I'm...I'm still the same walking contradiction...the woman who loved him more than anything but not enough to keep him."

"Nora, you have to stop this...you can't keep wondering what if...and you definitely can't keep beating yourself up...you didn't make him choose everything else over you did you?"

She wiped the tears from her face as she composed herself, still trying to be that strong, resilient fire cracker, despite the pain in her heart..."I didn't even ask to be first Shaun...I didn't...and I know most women expect that...but I never did...I just...I got tired of being alone too many nights when there was no logical reason for me to be...and especially of being with him and feeling like he was still somewhere else...or that he would rather be..."

"What does that mean Nora?"

"It means I'm starting to question everything now...you know, in hindsight, you start to look at things you once believed in unfailingly...I just have to wonder why it was so easy for him to put me last in line...I mean if he loved me..."

"Nora, please don't doubt that...I might not be your husband's biggest fan right now but I know that he loved you..."

"And yet it wasn't enough for him to give me the one thing I ever asked him for...and that makes me wonder if my faith in him was misguided...was there someone else Shaun...did he just not love me anymore...if that's the case then why didn't he just tell me...why couldn't he just...I loved him more then anything...I would have traveled around the world for him...sacrificed anything...but he didn't sacrifice one thing for me...why couldn't he have just loved me that much...why...why wasn't I ever good enough for him?"

"You were baby...you were," he soothed, as she fell brokenly into his arms. He could have killed Bo for making her doubt her self worth this way but what good would that do...She had loved him beyond measure and now her heart was in pieces...no amount of lashing out at the man who had done that to her would change the pain she felt now...all he could do was rock her in his arms as she cried...promising that somehow, someway, she would be okay again...he knew she didn't believe it anymore then he did...except he vowed to find a way to heal the cracks in her heart and in her soul...and he always kept his promises.

"Let me take you home sweetie," he offered. There was no way he would allow her to be alone in her condition. She didn't hesitate when he simply lifted her off the ground and carried her to the car. "I'm going to take care of you Nora," he whispered to her, as she slept peacefully in the seat next to him. And he would. She would never be alone again...but more then that...she would never _feel_ alone.


End file.
